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TV and Recovery: Incompatible?

I just noticed something as I was reflecting on today's For Today reading. I haven't watched TV in about a week, and I haven't had the urge to eat compulsively. But I have, in the past, noticed a connection between watching certain shows on TV and then having a strong desire to eat compulsively.

This morning's reading brought the connection to light again because of one line in today's passage: "My food addiction was acquired so I could survive and cope in earlier, painful circumstances." I could relate to this line; however, when I thought about my life today, in the present, I asked myself, "What do I need to survive today?" The answer was "life as it is without eating compulsively," and then I thought of TV.

Certain TV shows cause me to be distracted from reality or send me into a spiral of negativity. I have noticed that daytime dramas (soap operas) and nighttime dramas take me away from the present life I live - one of happiness, peace and serenity - and they throw me back into the chaos, pain and confusion of my life in the past. My life used to resemble a soap opera. When I watch these types of shows, I move far away from the reality of my life today, far away from the recovery I've made. While I'm watching the show, I forget where I am.

Talk shows also can affect me negatively. These shows take me back to an unhealthy lifestyle of gossip. This goes against what I am trying to achieve today - acceptance of others and myself with love and understanding. These shows present the illusion that people are bad, corrupt and untrustworthy. I can't think like this and hope to recover in OA.

I have also noticed that I am often comparing my body size and my looks to women on TV; this is not healthy for me. I compare myself, of course, to the women who are wearing size zero. I catch myself thinking about starving and over-exercising, and I totally forget about being happy with who I am.

I read an article recently that quoted an evolutionary psychiatrist's view that television can distort our self-perception. It said that humans naturally compete with others in our environment, and we compare our lives with "the fantasy lives we see on television." We become dissatisfied with ourselves, and even with our own families.

OA's "Twelve and Twelve," on pages two and three says, "Clearly, if we are to live free of the bondage of compulsive eating, we must abstain from all foods and eating behaviors which cause us problems." For me, this also means that I have to refrain from certain behaviors that lead me to eat compulsively.

Since I am an "all or nothing" person, my first thought normally would be "That's it. No more TV." Thanks to OA, however, I have learned that I have choices, and I have chosen balance. I haven't given up entirely on TV. I have decided not to watch the shows that trigger the desire to eat compulsively. I want to keep my abstinence (a little over three years), and I'm "willing to go to any lengths" to keep it.

— Reprinted from Lifeline, January 1998, p. 16