It’s Never Too Late

OA has helped me with more than physical recovery. It’s difficult to separate the physical from the emotional and spiritual. Through OA, God has blessed me with growth in all areas. I sure didn’t do it alone. I never did anything on my own, except get into trouble. I did that real well.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I could just pass around my picture and shut up. My top weight, 140 pounds and a size 16, came in 1975. Since 1948, I couldn’t figure out how to maintain a normal weight. At 56, I still didn’t have a clue. Momma was a compulsive eater (we didn’t know those words then), and I was sure following in her footsteps in my adult life. She was four feet eight inches tall, weighed 230 pounds, and measured 60 inches around her middle – more than she was tall! I had a problem with food, but I didn’t know it. I scored 100% on the OA questionnaire “Are You a Compulsive Overeater?”

OA has given me the miracle of physical recovery. Now, I am size four and 100 pounds, exactly what I was at age 20. This is normal for me; I am five feet tall. I came into OA on a fluke, bringing someone else to the meeting, not knowing that I had a problem with food, not knowing it was crazy to eat great quantities of food in great haste. I guess I didn’t want anyone to know how much I ate, so if I ate it fast, maybe no one would notice. I was never logical, just compulsive – sneaking food, eating in the car and in the bathroom.

All I know now is that I get what I need in OA. I don’t always know my needs, but in OA I get your love, nurturing, acceptance and wisdom that help me to live the program one day at a time. I no longer have to do the yo-yo diet syndrome that I did for so many years. Now there are things to do instead of overeat. The tools of OA work. I use all of these tools:

Abstinence. This is my daily commitment. Moderation and freedom from binge foods have helped me stay at a stable weight. I am not always moderate, but I am more often than not. I’ve learned to put the fork down once in a while and to leave something on the plate other than the design.

Sponsorship. I call daily. My sponsor is there for me, and I’m grateful. She helps me keep straight – not perfect, but better than before. I sponsor, and my sponsorees help me. I learn from them. Meetings. I go to lots of them, as many as five a week. Compulsive? I love the meetings. They are my most favorite tool, because OAers are my most favorite people.

Telephone. I call others and my sponsor daily. My calls are for me. I call because I need you. Writing. I am learning to do the writing, admittedly grudgingly, but my sponsor says do it, so I’m doing it. Literature. I love the OA literature. Reading the “Big Book” daily with two of my sponsorees keeps me in touch. Somehow I find it difficult to read alone (I told you I need help). I particularly appreciate the pamphlet “Before You Take That First Compulsive Bite, Remember . . .” Its concrete suggestions tell me what to do instead of eating. The best nickel’s worth of literature in the world is the little card “Just For Today.”

Anonymity. I’ll keep your anonymity, but I break my own whenever anyone asks me about what I did to lose the weight. People think I have willpower to resist all the tempting foods around the office. No way! It’s not me. I get a lot of help, and I can’t do this without OA. Service. The service jobs give me a feeling of being a part of OA. No job is insignificant. We’re helping each other. Whenever I’m giving, I’m really getting. My greed is still there, but now it is being channeled constructively.

I am learning moderation and sanity. My recovery is not complete; it’s ongoing. Each day is a new learning experience. Just recently I discontinued the daily weighing I had been doing since 1975. I had not told my sponsor I was weighing daily (I said I wasn’t perfect), but she didn’t berate me, and she helped me through the withdrawal. I may be a slow learner, I may have gotten a late start at age 61, but as each challenge arises, I don’t panic every time. My life is better than it ever was. I don’t have to self-destruct anymore.

Reprinted from Lifeline magazine