We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step

1

Abstinence Action

I’m grateful for the fact that I came into program desperate enough to do anything anyone told me.

I went home after my first meeting, and of course finished the binge foods I had in the house. But I also made the call I’d agreed to make to the woman who became my first sponsor. During that call, I made an eating plan for the following day, and miracle of miracles, I followed it. My sponsor gave me questions to answer; questions that got me to look at my eating, obesity, and history of relating to the world and to people around me. She had me read the literature and think about various concepts, such as what insanity and powerlessness mean.

I’m very grateful that my sponsor had me working on Step One from the first call, rather than letting me find stability with food first. I needed to realize from the start that abstinence (freedom from food) comes from action; it is a respite earned daily rather than being guaranteed. Working Step One highlighted the importance of following my eating plan — the tool and the Step dovetailed. Planned eating and planned program work also made my days feel structured. All of a sudden I was free from aimlessness, boredom and uncertainty.

Step One made me look at the full ramifications of my problem; not just what I was eating, but how I fit my life around food and how my life consisted mostly of hiding and avoiding. I came into OA knowing I used food to cope, but Step One helped me see the futility and destructiveness of this. Realizing that I was slowly committing suicide was one of the first honest moments in my life. Understanding that I could have my binge foods or a hopeful life, but not both, was one of the most positive.

When I think of how my life changed in my early days of program, I feel gratitude, awe and wonder. The first word of Step One is “we,” which for a lifelong isolator is a huge lifestyle change. Having a sponsor and a community of people who do what I do with food is a priceless gift. I’ve been in OA almost 20 months and have lost nearly 60 kilograms (132 lbs.). Far better than this, though, is feeling that I now have a place in the world. I have found my tribe. I have come home.

— Kate H., Victoria, Australia

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